idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
