I'm eating all of the evidence.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
