My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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