I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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