I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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