she looked like the before picture.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
