Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
