I am spending my child support on dildos
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
