I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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