is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
