I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
