I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
