I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
