sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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