Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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