ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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