my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
