There is no way he is gay with that hair.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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