Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
