so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
