This dress was meant to end up on your floor
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
