Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
