I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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