He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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