This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
