Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
