I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
