You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
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I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
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Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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