Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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