using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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