My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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