You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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