I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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