I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
