imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
