do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just want nice things and good sex
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
