im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So much rum. So many feels.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
