i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize