You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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