i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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