im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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