Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
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I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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