yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
