This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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