I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
