just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!