Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
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Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
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My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.