kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im holly from the hills drunk
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We need to get me chipped asap