drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful