My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
