he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.