I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
How drunk are you??
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster