We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.