YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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