my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You ate ashes out of my bong
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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