i jhust puked up my retainher.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm both gender and math confused
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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