I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
