I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
