dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
