How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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