Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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