smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
