i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize