Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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