I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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