Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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